


I didn't want you to notice

by brave_little_toaster



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Future!Gallavich, M/M, married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 05:40:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11007135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brave_little_toaster/pseuds/brave_little_toaster
Summary: Mickey feels awful during sex. He tried him damn hardest not to let his husband figure out. Eventually, it gets too much and he confesses his discomfort to Ian who listens, understands and comforts him.





	I didn't want you to notice

Mickey didn't know getting married to Ian would make their sex life the best it had ever been. In their marriage, both found comfort in long love making, something Mickey was finally comfortable with saying.

However, when Ian excitedly asked Mickey if he wanted to try fucking like they used to after a day of reminiscing about their younger years, Mickey nodded, equally eager, as they made their way to the bedroom.

Mickey wasn't sure how long ago that was. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable, being pounded so hard from the back. They hadn't banged harshly and roughly in years and he gulped awkwardly that he couldn't see Ian.

Mickey miserably wondered why his husband wasn't saying all the regular lovely stuff he usually spoke during sex.

Uneasily, he recognised he wouldn't be receiving any loving kisses or soft touches. The only contact he had was the younger man gripping his waist slightly too hard. 

Mickey restlessly attempted to ignore the feeling of being used as Ian grunted and fucked him in sharp, fat bursts.

He tried to focus on the sensation because he knew he was being surprisingly quiet. Contrastingly, this only sunk his mood further as he didn't even feel like it was his Ian who he was taking it from.

The redhead was being relentless and Mickey could admit it was exactly the sort of intensity he would have enjoyed, no, thrived off as a teenager. 

But now, it felt weird and made him feel dirty. He panicked with his emotions, having not dealt with the swarm of negative feelings in so long. He felt hot tears spring up in his eyes and frowned that they weren't the good type.

Mickey tried to breathe steadily and figured because his face was turned away, maybe he could keep going because Ian wanted to.

He bit his lip to prevent a choked sob and felt alarmed because he didn't understand how he could ever feel bad with Ian. He thought his husband wasn't technically doing anything wrong and it made Mickey feel like a shitty lover that he couldn't be so into it too.

Everything hurt and he shook off the numbness in his legs. Irritatingly, he disregarded the headache he got from concentrating and thinking too hard. 

He wasn't propped up on a comfy pillow and it wasn't Ian's familiar hands keeping him open, either. Mickey was holding himself in position and it made his skin crawl that his husband's fingers weren't caressing him. 

Distressed, he reminded himself it was fucking Ian. Ian. Ian. Ian. Ian who made him happy and he was making him happy. He wanted to keep going, keep pleasuring him but it really didn't feel right and the more time that passed, Mickey knew he couldn't do it.

Nervously, he wondered if he should wait till it was over but Mickey doubted that he would even be able to cum, despite Ian doing an incredible fucking job, all he could focus on was how it was too much.

Shakily, he reached behind him and touched Ian's hips which were thrusting deep and calculated. It was almost inaudible when he pleaded 'red.' 

Suddenly, Mickey was terrified he would have to say it louder, tell Ian to get off him and he didn't know how to reject someone he loved more than anything.

Thankfully, after all his silence Ian immediately processed his words and pulled out quickly.

Mickey gasped in relief and then felt so bad because of it. Luckily, Ian didn't care as he carefully flipped him over, worry immensely increasing as he searched his husband's face and clocked the pooled tears. 

Mickey squirmed and knew it was ridiculous feeling exposed in front of him. He blubbered and lied 'shit. Didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. C'mon, get on me, carry on. Finish, I'm fine.'

Ian yanked him forward in a big hug and Mickey's foggy brain accepted he would never ignore his safeword and would refuse to listen when he brushed it off. The thought provided some comfort and as Ian stroked his back soothingly and fluttered tiny kisses in his hair which was when his small tears began to flow.

Nuzzled in his warmth, Mickey fidgeted with his fingers, feeling guilty. He guessed Ian had been talking since he freaked out but only then did he hone in and focus on his words.

His voice was brimming with concern '...babe? I'm so sorry, what happened? Too much? Hey, it's okay. Talk to me, please. Oh fuck, was I hurting you? Shit, shit, shit are you okay?' 

Mickey snuffled and broke away to viciously wipe his face. He was long passed caring his lip quivered visibly as he rambled 'didn't like it. Didn't feel like it was you. We weren't kissing and you didn't hold me properly. Like... want you to look after me, shit, need you to talk so I know I'm doing good, know you're here. Like hearing the kind things. That's not how we fucking do it anymore, felt gross but it's never felt gross with you so I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry! Fuck, I'm so pathetic, need you to be nice to me all the damn time! Shit!'

Ian's face fell after listening to intently to Mickey's antsy words. He grabbed him and kissed all over his face. 'Not your fault at all. It's okay, you're allowed to not want to. Especially if it makes you feel bad. My fucking responsibility to make sure you're safe, I'm sorry. I love you so much, don't ever want you to think it's pathetic to need me to tell you that. Of course it isn't. Everyone likes hearing that. You're my husband, I always want you to be happy. Can't believe I made you feel gross, babe, I'm sorry. Want to kiss you all the damn time, we won't ever do it again without, I get it. I didn't even know you were feeling shitty, what the fuck is wrong with me?' Mickey promised 'shut the fuck up, I didn't want you to notice, it's okay.'

Ian laid down and Mickey clung to his chest. Ian asked 'what else?' Mickey figured he wanted to know everything that felt wrong to make sure it never happened again. It made his heavy heart soar.

Mickey mumbled honestly against his warm skin 'fucking stupid but... didn't feel like you loved me.'

Ian enveloped his smaller body entirely 'holy fuck, I don't want you to ever think that. You know that isn't true, yeah?' His voice sounded pained and Mickey trusted him with everything and nodded vigorously 'defiantly. I fucking know, promise.'

Ian released a shaky breath and Mickey pressed a small kiss against his shoulder. He murmured 'should have let you finish. Want me to blow you?' Ian spoke seriously 'don't you ever, fucking ever, let me cum if you don't want me to. Forget about it, doesn't matter at all. I don't care how close I am, never fucking wait it out, understand? Have to tell me as soon as you can so we can stop, okay?' Mickey smiled slightly 'yeah.' 

Ian intertwined their hands and rubbed his knuckles mickey yawned 'thanks.' Ian placed a lingering peck on his bitten lips and rested their heads together. 'Thank you for telling me the truth, Mick. I love you so fucking much. Such a good boy, letting me know so I can stop. Won't let it happen again, alright? I got you.' Mickey hummed contently 'love you too.'


End file.
